Author Topic: Lets start with a smile  (Read 576868 times)

Kiwi

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2670 on: September 03, 2019, 05:53 AM »
A friend of mine, who has a stutter, was telling us about his nana.

By the time he was finished we were all singing Hey Jude
My pet hate is passing. When my time comes, Iím going to die, Iím refuse to ďpassĒ. I want people to say Iím dead. Brown ******* bread. Any ****** that says I passed, Iíll haunt.

Kiwi

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2671 on: September 03, 2019, 05:53 AM »
My friend studied archaeology at university for three years.
His career ended in ruins.
My pet hate is passing. When my time comes, Iím going to die, Iím refuse to ďpassĒ. I want people to say Iím dead. Brown ******* bread. Any ****** that says I passed, Iíll haunt.

Kiwi

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2672 on: September 03, 2019, 05:57 AM »
My pet hate is passing. When my time comes, Iím going to die, Iím refuse to ďpassĒ. I want people to say Iím dead. Brown ******* bread. Any ****** that says I passed, Iíll haunt.

Bill

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2673 on: September 06, 2019, 09:14 AM »

Bill

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2674 on: September 06, 2019, 06:21 PM »

Bill

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2675 on: September 07, 2019, 07:58 PM »

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2676 on: September 09, 2019, 06:18 PM »
just  because you sleep with some body  called stormy  doesn"t  make you an expert on the weather..   Mr.  president..

Bill

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2677 on: September 14, 2019, 06:39 AM »

Kiwi

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2678 on: September 17, 2019, 05:30 AM »
Paddy and Seamus decide to go golfing at their favourite course:

On the fifteenth hole, Paddy hits his golf ball into the woods and finds it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ends up thrashing every buttercup in the patch.

All of a sudden POOF! In a flash and a puff of smoke, a beautiful woman appears.

She says. "I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups?
For doing what you did, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life. And, you won't have any butter for your toast. In fact, you'll never have any butter for anything the rest of your life!"
Then POOF! She disappears.
After Paddy recovers from the shock, he yells to his friend Seamus. "Hey, Seamus, where are you?"
Seamus yells back. "I'm in the rough, over here in a patch of pussy willows."
Paddy shouts back. "Don't swing, Seamus!.
For the love of God, DON'T FECKIN SWING!"
My pet hate is passing. When my time comes, Iím going to die, Iím refuse to ďpassĒ. I want people to say Iím dead. Brown ******* bread. Any ****** that says I passed, Iíll haunt.

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2679 on: September 17, 2019, 07:52 PM »
a man who was in his 40s  said he finally could  afford  to retire.. but wasn"t  sure  whether to go with Firestone  or  Goodyear..