General Category > Smile, please!

Senior Shoplifter


A Cranky woman "in her senior years" was arrested for shoplifting at a grocery store.
She gave everyone a hard time, from the store manager to the security guard to the arresting officer who took her away. She complained and criticised everything and everyone throughout the process.

When she appeared before the Magistrate, he asked her what she had stolen from the store.

The lady defiantly replied, "Just a stupid can of peaches."

The Magistrate then asked why she had done it.

She replied, "I was hungry and forgot to bring any cash to shop with."

The Magistrate asked how many peaches were in the can.

She replied in a nasty tone, "Nine! But why do you care ?"

The Magistrate answered, "Well, ma'am, because I'm going to give you nine days in Prison -- one day for each peach."

As he was about to drop his gavel, the lady's long-suffering husband raised his hand slowly and asked if he might speak.

The Magistrate said, "Yes sir, what do you have to add?"

The husband said meekly, "Your Honour -  she also stole two cans of peas...


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