Author Topic: Predictions for 2014  (Read 2239 times)


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Predictions for 2014
« on: January 09, 2014, 01:37 AM »
With some of the surprising events of 2013, I just wondered if anyone could predict future ones for 2014.

Here's a few I've found....

China will shoot down a Japanese plane overflying their newly drawn airspace

North Korea, more sabre rattling, but comes to nothing.

War in Syria spreads to involve Lebanon

Phil the Greek dies - big state funeral

UKIP landslide EU elections, libdems to vanish.

Scotland says no to "independence".


Scotland vote to go independent then regrets it when everyone is poor as dirt because Salmond had no idea on fiscal policy.

Brazil to win world cup. England out at group stage.

Italy to need a bailout.

Blair is assassinated in the Middle East when they get as sick of him as we are

Ed Milliband crys like a six year old girl when bested at PMQ's (you know its coming)

The Japan/China land grab is resolved when archaeologists dig down and find 'Made in China' printed on the bottom

Putin comes out of the closet

President Obama steps down from the Oval office suddenly to pursue a rap career

Some famous people die. BBC news goes into meltdown.

Some unknown people die in a Natural disaster. BBC news goes into meltdown.

Some child is born. BBC news goes into meltdown.

Some war either starts or continues. BBC news goes into meltdown.

Some famous person is caught/admits taking drugs. BBC news goes into meltdown.

Some famous person is outed/cleared as a kiddie fiddler. BBC news goes into meltdown.

Prince Harry gets engaged in March. Marries in June. A child is born in November.

To prevent the spread of disease a complete ban on farting in public spaces is implemented.

Shergars remains discovered in a wheelie bin behind Mac Paddies in Dublin.

Kim Jong Un appears on The Voice - and wins.

Bruce Forsyth dies during the live final of Strictly.

Bear Grylls dies in horrific active volcano parachute drop - live on Youtube.

Ed Millipede 'selfies' at the Cenotaph and resigns in disgrace.

Ant and Dec 'marry' in Civil Partnership during the live final of I'm a Celebrity.

China applies to join the EU - and gets in the following day.

China bails out Spain and occupies Gibraltar.

Royal Navy disbands.

RAF rebranded as 'easyLife'.

China wins Eurovision Song Contest.

Pope Benedict stages a Coup D'Etat at the Vatican in response to Pope Francis' reforms.

Silvio Berlusconi is hanged drawn and quartered for tax fraud. There is live coverage on all of his own tv channels.

Some Johnny Foreigner will be blamed for the end of middle England in the Daily Mail

The readers will be outraged and demand the death penalty is brought back

Some Z list celeb will seek attention.

Wars will continue to kill people

Elvis remains dead

We will all be here, same time, next year saying the same things, same arguments,

Homosexuality will be outed as just a fad by attention seekers.

Stephen Hawkins will have a tecno version on "theres no business like show business" at number one in the charts.

Pakistan will wipe the floor with the rest of the world at crown green bowling.

Germany will not invade anyone.

France will tax itself out of existence.

Great Britain will continue on a slightly upward economic trajectory, causing the BBC to concentrate even more of its news coverage on the plight of the feckless and how they can't get Sky sports on benefits anymore.

Italy will carry on as usual,just one more economic catastrophe to add to its record.

President Obama will be caught wiping off his "blacking up" make-up, and following a lengthy investigation by the Daily Express, be found to be George Bush.

France will be annexed by Belgium.

Due to panic amongst the mainstream parties over the EU elections - there will be a serious attempt to discredit UKIP as the left-wing media and political parties join forces.

Riots in Spain over Catalonia etc.

Unrest in several UK areas amongst immigrants.

Plans will be made for Charles to succeed the queen as sovereign in the next 2 years should she still be alive then.

Some form of scandal with the American president.

Another "epidemic" will be announced causing widespread panic amongst chavs who will flood surgeries to get themselves and their offspring innoculated against.

Turmoil with the water companies as the past two years weather (constant rain) forces them to concede the problem is due to poor maintenance and leakages rather than drought.

A semi civilized dump in central Africa and another in the Middle East erupt into civil war and we just ignore it. Finally.

Liverpool FC finish in 19th position in the Premier League, just ahead of Man Utd, and are relegated.

Illegal immigrants to Australia finally get the message that they'll be dumped on Nauru or Manus Island.

Consequently they do the obvious thing and bugger off to the UK.

In retaliation the UK uses its few remaining naval vessels to ship its burgeoning collection of pikeys and gypos to Australia in an attempt to recreate the original First Fleet.

Romanian becomes the official language of Denton.

Moyes sacked from Man U.

Or was that 2013?

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