Author Topic: Lets start with a smile  (Read 541478 times)

Kiwi

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2460 on: March 10, 2019, 09:19 PM »
I asked the librarian if she had any books on paranoia.

She leaned over and whispered......."They are right behind you"
"We don't want blood all over the lawn and the hounds are fagged out from yesterdays Jehovah's witnesses"

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2461 on: March 11, 2019, 02:56 AM »
the weakest point on any  car  is the nut behind the steering  wheel....

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2462 on: March 11, 2019, 06:49 PM »
there was an old man named  Keith, who mislaid his set of false  teeth they were  laid  on a chair he forgot  they were there, sat down and got bitten  beneath...

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2463 on: March 13, 2019, 04:37 AM »
a man gets home  from the  pub, his wife said  "your  drunk" no i"m not he replied "oh yes  you are"she yelled " i tell you i am not drunk" he answered can you tell the time" she asked "sure" he said and walked up  to the clock and says  "i  am  not  drunk"...

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2464 on: March 13, 2019, 11:35 PM »
a man said  the worst pub i"have    ever been to  was called  THE FIDDLE..it realy  was a vile  inn...

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2465 on: March 14, 2019, 04:50 AM »
don"t  steal,  don"t  lie and don"t  cheat.... the government  hates  competition

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2466 on: March 19, 2019, 12:08 AM »
news  flash>>>> police  are investigating a wooden thing with a pointed end  spinning on the street...... that"s  our  top  story,...

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2467 on: Today at 05:12 AM »
an old lady went to her lawyer to draw up her will after it was done she paid him the $100 with a crisp new bill, when she was leaving the lawyer noticed another $100 stuck to it, and he was stuck with a moral dilemma, should he tell his partner..