Author Topic: Lets start with a smile  (Read 566271 times)

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2370 on: January 30, 2019, 05:16 AM »
 a man said to his  wife why did you  marry  me  because you"r  very  funny    she replied oh i thought it was because i was good  in bed..  there you go you"r  hilarious she replied

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2371 on: January 31, 2019, 05:47 PM »
 a mans wife told him that  women are better than men at  multitasking   so he told her to  sit  down and shut up  guess what  she couldn"t  do either ..

brian seward

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2372 on: February 01, 2019, 05:18 AM »
wouldn't it be so great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free and three sizes smaller'
Boy I just got hit in the head with a can of soda. I was lucky it was a soft drink.

Son: Mom can you give me thirty bucks?.  Mom; Does it look like I am made of money' Son:Well isn't that what MOM stands for..


KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2373 on: February 01, 2019, 06:28 PM »
no  mom stands for  mom  owes  money

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2374 on: February 01, 2019, 07:15 PM »
a man boards a plane with six  kids after they get seated a lady leans over and asks the man are these all your  children? no mam he replied  i work for a condom  company  these are customers  complaints

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2375 on: February 01, 2019, 10:04 PM »
 a guy said he cant afford a nice large television so he smoked a ton of  weed and read the dictionary............................ high  definition 

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2376 on: February 02, 2019, 10:18 PM »
a man walks into the kitchen where his wife is breastfeeding their  son "how long do yo have to do that for" he asked " well its a bond between mother and child isn"t  it only society deems it should stop at a certain age" yeah  shut up Joe.. i am talking to your mother 

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2377 on: February 04, 2019, 12:57 AM »
scientists  say the universe is made up of  protons  neutrons  and electrons    they  forgot morons...

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2378 on: February 04, 2019, 03:52 AM »
if we are not supposed to  eat animals  ...why are they made of  food??

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2379 on: February 04, 2019, 04:24 AM »
 there was this  drunken uni-cyclist he couldn't  handle bars..

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2380 on: February 06, 2019, 07:10 PM »
 a man who recognizes his mistakes when wrong  is  wise..  a man who recognize his mistake when he is right  is married

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2381 on: February 07, 2019, 03:28 PM »
a man  phones his boss and says i cant come in today i have  a wee  cough you have a wee cough said the boss thanks see you next week  then  the man replied

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2382 on: February 08, 2019, 01:05 AM »
once  upon a time  a prince asked a beautiful princess  "will you  marry  me" the princess said  "no"  so the prince lived happy ever after riding  motorcycles fishing hunting drinking beer and whiskey had lots of money  in the bank, left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted......THE END

Kiwi

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2383 on: February 11, 2019, 02:35 AM »
I think we're in for a bad spell of wether.

My pet hate is passing. When my time comes, Iím going to die, Iím refuse to ďpassĒ. I want people to say Iím dead. Brown ******* bread. Any ****** that says I passed, Iíll haunt.

Kiwi

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2384 on: February 11, 2019, 02:36 AM »
To the thief who stole all my anti-depressants - I hope you're happy now.

My pet hate is passing. When my time comes, Iím going to die, Iím refuse to ďpassĒ. I want people to say Iím dead. Brown ******* bread. Any ****** that says I passed, Iíll haunt.