Author Topic: Lets start with a smile  (Read 431302 times)

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #1530 on: February 10, 2017, 09:26 PM »
a scot went to canada to ski after a hard day on the slopes he went into the bar had about 5 whiskeys and noticed this animals head stuck on the wall what the hell is that he asked the barman its a moose replied the barman bugger  me said the scot how big are the bloody cats..cheers

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #1531 on: February 10, 2017, 10:43 PM »
a man went for a job as a blacksmith have you ever shoed a horse  before he was asked no he replied but i once told a donkey to piss off.. cheers

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #1532 on: February 12, 2017, 04:47 AM »
little  johnny told his teacher that he found a cat  but it was dead oh said the teacher  how  did you  know  it was dead?? because  i pissed in  its  ear and it  didnt  move..  you did what yelledthe  teacher??? you knowi leaned over and went  pssssst  replied  little  johnny..cheers

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #1533 on: February 15, 2017, 06:03 PM »
a man  and his wife was going to get a divorce but decided to stay together for the sake of their kids niether of them  wanted  custody of the little  brats.. cheers

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #1534 on: February 15, 2017, 06:43 PM »
A fox a wolf and a weasel went for a meal what do you want to drink asked the waiter water said the fox coffee growls the wolf and pop goes the weasel. Cheers

Kiwi

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #1535 on: February 16, 2017, 03:21 AM »
Harry got a job as a bus driver and on his first morning he just sat at the depot waiting. The bus inspector came over to see what the problem was.
Harry said; " l'm waiting for the conductor."
The inspector informed him that all the buses were now one man buses. So Harry drives off in the double decker bus. Twenty minutes later there is a call to the depot, one of the buses has been involved in a road traffic accident.
The inspector goes down to the crash and there is Harry and his wrecked bus. "Harry!" cried the inspector. "How did this happen!"
Harry shrugged his shoulders, "To be honest, l really don't know. l was upstairs collecting fares at the time."
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #1536 on: February 16, 2017, 03:58 PM »
theres a term  for  presidents  like  trump................. probably  not two terms though... cheers

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #1537 on: February 16, 2017, 04:28 PM »
a lady was walking down the street with one of her breasts hanging  out  when a man shouted  hey you cant walk  outside  like that  oh  my  god  i left  my  baby on the bus..she  yelled..  cheers

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #1538 on: February 16, 2017, 04:37 PM »
global  warming  is  a  joke.......................  evev  the  antarctic  ice  sheets  are  cracking  up..  cheers

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #1539 on: February 19, 2017, 11:16 PM »
Paddy walking down the street dragging a cabbage on a lead he stopped to talk to his friend mike  who asked him why he was dragging a cabbage behind. Him. So paddy looked at the cabbage and said bigger. Me I got done. They said it was a. Collie..cheers

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #1540 on: February 20, 2017, 09:25 PM »
a mexico  kid  met  donald  trump  and said you know  mr. trump  one  day i  would like to be  president  of  u.s.a.  one . trump said are you  crazy  out of your  mind  an idiot  retarded or  what ???  the kid replied  you  know  what  ive changed  my mind  theres to many  requirements

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #1541 on: February 23, 2017, 02:08 AM »
any  more  :) ;) :D ;D 8)

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #1542 on: February 23, 2017, 11:48 PM »
how  do  you  get  a sweet  80 year old  lady to use the  F  word???      get  another sweet  80 year old lady  to shout  bingo

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #1543 on: February 25, 2017, 08:24 PM »
people get richer  as they grow  older with silver in thier hair  gold in  teeth  sugar in blood   precious stones in kidneys  and an endless supply  of  gas.....cheers

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #1544 on: February 25, 2017, 10:39 PM »
 ;) ;D >:( :( 8)