Author Topic: Lets start with a smile  (Read 572486 times)

Kiwi

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2610 on: July 17, 2019, 03:14 AM »

My pet hate is passing. When my time comes, Iím going to die, Iím refuse to ďpassĒ. I want people to say Iím dead. Brown ******* bread. Any ****** that says I passed, Iíll haunt.

Kiwi

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2611 on: July 17, 2019, 03:14 AM »

My pet hate is passing. When my time comes, Iím going to die, Iím refuse to ďpassĒ. I want people to say Iím dead. Brown ******* bread. Any ****** that says I passed, Iíll haunt.

Kiwi

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2612 on: July 17, 2019, 03:15 AM »

My pet hate is passing. When my time comes, Iím going to die, Iím refuse to ďpassĒ. I want people to say Iím dead. Brown ******* bread. Any ****** that says I passed, Iíll haunt.

Kiwi

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2613 on: July 17, 2019, 03:15 AM »

My pet hate is passing. When my time comes, Iím going to die, Iím refuse to ďpassĒ. I want people to say Iím dead. Brown ******* bread. Any ****** that says I passed, Iíll haunt.

Kiwi

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2614 on: July 17, 2019, 03:16 AM »
My pet hate is passing. When my time comes, Iím going to die, Iím refuse to ďpassĒ. I want people to say Iím dead. Brown ******* bread. Any ****** that says I passed, Iíll haunt.

Kiwi

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2615 on: July 18, 2019, 02:17 AM »
This letter was sent to the South Shields High School Principal's office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for pensioners. An elderly lady received a new radio at the lunch as a door raffle prize and was writing to say thank you.. This story is a credit to all humankind. Forward this to anyone you know who might need a lift today.

Dear Shields High School ,

God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent Old Age Pensioners luncheon. I am 87 years old and live at the Laygate home for Elderly Ladies in South Shields.

All of my family has passed away so I am all alone.... I want to thank you for the kindness you have shown to a forgotten old lady.

My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio; but, she would never let me listen to it. She said it belonged to her long dead husband, and understandably, wanted to keep it safe.

The other day her radio fell off the nightstand and broke into a dozen pieces. It was awful and she was in tears. She asked if she could listen to mine, and I was overjoyed to have the chance to tell her to f**k off.

Thank you for that wonderful opportunity.

God bless you all.

Yours sincerely,

Ella
My pet hate is passing. When my time comes, Iím going to die, Iím refuse to ďpassĒ. I want people to say Iím dead. Brown ******* bread. Any ****** that says I passed, Iíll haunt.

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2616 on: July 18, 2019, 04:05 PM »
a drummer got threw out of the band , because his timing was awful , he was so upset he went to the station and threw himself  behind  a train..

Kiwi

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2617 on: July 19, 2019, 03:38 AM »
I had an appointment with the osteopath. They kept me waiting for two hours.

They only had a skeleton staff.
My pet hate is passing. When my time comes, Iím going to die, Iím refuse to ďpassĒ. I want people to say Iím dead. Brown ******* bread. Any ****** that says I passed, Iíll haunt.

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2618 on: July 21, 2019, 03:16 AM »
the face of a child  can say it all................. especially the mouth part of the  face

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2619 on: July 21, 2019, 04:21 PM »
it was  so hot today   i saw two hydrants  fighting  over a dog.,,

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2620 on: July 21, 2019, 07:18 PM »
a man  went to the hardware store for some gold hooks to hang his wife"s jewelry on. the young  clerk said "we don"t have gold ones but we have silver ones that will do the same job"the man looked at the clerk and said"you aint married  are you"?

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2621 on: July 24, 2019, 05:39 PM »
you  can  tell the difference  between a boy  and  and a girl  ant  by  putting  them in  water if its a girl  ant  it  sinks  but if it  floats  its buoyant.

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2622 on: July 25, 2019, 02:55 AM »
if your here for the yodeling lesson  please form an orderly  orderly  orderly orderly  queue

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2623 on: July 27, 2019, 07:42 PM »
a little  man admitted himself to rehab for a gambling  addiction ....hes OK  hes a little  better.

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2624 on: July 28, 2019, 02:11 AM »
two  worms  live on a golf course one asks his friend "is it  raining"? ill go and look said the other as he is getting to the top there are two ladies on the green and one of them needs to pee so the thought it would be o k to pee right there as they were the only ones golfing so just as the worm pops his head out he gets drenched so he scoots back down his buddy says "i see its raining" the wet worm replies "its raining that hard  the birds are building their nests  upside down"