Author Topic: Lets start with a smile  (Read 565766 times)

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2580 on: June 19, 2019, 07:12 PM »
interviewer. "why  did you  leave your  last job"? man " they moved the office and didnt tell me where to"

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2581 on: June 19, 2019, 10:04 PM »
a resent  study as found that women who carry a little extra weight  live  longer  than men that  mention it ..

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2582 on: June 20, 2019, 04:25 PM »
joke  of  the  day...........................women's  world  cup    v a r

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2583 on: June 23, 2019, 06:58 PM »
i would  like to put on record my appreciation to all the guys who  play  the triangle in orchestras..................................  thanks  for  every   ting

Kiwi

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2584 on: June 24, 2019, 01:18 AM »
I was outside my shop selling lion, the witch, and the wardrobe memorabilia.
A passer by asked me what I was doing.
I told them it's Narnia business.
This definition tells you all you need to know about 'PC'
PC, aka, Political Correctness, is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority (Liberals/Socialists) and promoted by the mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is possible to pick up faeces by the clean end.

Kiwi

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2585 on: June 24, 2019, 01:20 AM »

This definition tells you all you need to know about 'PC'
PC, aka, Political Correctness, is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority (Liberals/Socialists) and promoted by the mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is possible to pick up faeces by the clean end.

Kiwi

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2586 on: June 24, 2019, 01:21 AM »
This definition tells you all you need to know about 'PC'
PC, aka, Political Correctness, is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority (Liberals/Socialists) and promoted by the mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is possible to pick up faeces by the clean end.

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2587 on: June 24, 2019, 02:35 AM »
a man said his mum with dwarfism  is underpaid at work apparently  she is unsatisfied with mini  mum wage.

Kiwi

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2588 on: June 25, 2019, 09:18 PM »
This week I joined a Poetry Group for Dyslexic people. The first night I made two pots and a vase...
This definition tells you all you need to know about 'PC'
PC, aka, Political Correctness, is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority (Liberals/Socialists) and promoted by the mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is possible to pick up faeces by the clean end.

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2589 on: June 27, 2019, 03:54 PM »
there once was a man from cape  horn  who wished he never was born   and he  wouldn"t  have been if his father had seen that the tip of his rubber was torn..

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2590 on: July 01, 2019, 11:22 PM »
some people say  if a pepper is realy small  it will be very hot but in reality its a little  chili

Kiwi

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2591 on: July 01, 2019, 11:30 PM »
A young doctor had moved to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds so that the community would become used to their new doctor.
At the first house a woman complains, "Iíve been a little sick to my stomach."
The older doctor says, "Well, youíve probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Why not cut back on the amount youíve been eating and see if that does the trick?"
As they left, the younger man said, "You didnít even examine that woman, how did you come to your diagnosis so quickly?"
"I didnít have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen banana peels in the waste bin. I knew that was what probably was making her sickíí.
The younger doctor said "Pretty clever. If you donít mind, I think Iíll try that at the next house."
Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with a younger woman. She said that she just didnít have the energy she once had and said, "Iím feeling terribly run down lately."
"Youíve probably been doing too much for the Church," the younger doctor told her. "Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps."
As they left, the elder doctor said, "I know that woman well. Your diagnosis is almost certainly correct, sheís very active in the church but how did you arrive at it?"
"I did what you did at the last house. I dropped my stethoscope and when I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the vicar under the bed."
This definition tells you all you need to know about 'PC'
PC, aka, Political Correctness, is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority (Liberals/Socialists) and promoted by the mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is possible to pick up faeces by the clean end.

Kiwi

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2592 on: July 01, 2019, 11:38 PM »
So True !


This definition tells you all you need to know about 'PC'
PC, aka, Political Correctness, is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority (Liberals/Socialists) and promoted by the mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is possible to pick up faeces by the clean end.

Kiwi

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2593 on: July 01, 2019, 11:40 PM »
For them that remember...

This definition tells you all you need to know about 'PC'
PC, aka, Political Correctness, is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority (Liberals/Socialists) and promoted by the mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is possible to pick up faeces by the clean end.

Kiwi

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2594 on: July 03, 2019, 03:38 AM »
A cowboy, who just moved to Montana from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud.

He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.

When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy,
"You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it.

It would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers.
One is in Arizona , the other is in Colorado.

When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.

So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way.
He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs.
All the regulars take notice and fall silent.

When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my
condolences on your loss."

The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.

"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains.

"It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."

ďIt hasn't affected my brothers though."
This definition tells you all you need to know about 'PC'
PC, aka, Political Correctness, is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority (Liberals/Socialists) and promoted by the mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is possible to pick up faeces by the clean end.