Author Topic: Lets start with a smile  (Read 515855 times)

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2235 on: September 24, 2018, 04:31 PM »
who  let  the owls  out ??..............................who  who  who  who

Kiwi

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2236 on: September 25, 2018, 02:08 AM »
Just watched a documentary on ship building. Riveting!.
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Kiwi

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2237 on: September 25, 2018, 02:08 AM »
Today's tip:

If you expect to get caught up in a hurricane, put sausages and cheese slices in your pockets.
That way, you will be the first to be found by the rescue dogs.
I'm convinced 90% of the software on my computer doesn't do anything except send me notifications that there's a new version of itself.

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2238 on: September 27, 2018, 05:16 PM »
the two silkworms that was having a race  ended up in a tie..

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2239 on: September 29, 2018, 09:17 PM »
after the plane took off the captain got on the  mike and said " thank you for flying with us the weather is   oh  my god its burning its burning" after a pause he then said "i am so sorry for that but i spilled some hot coffee on my lap you should see my pants" a voice from the back  shouted " why don"t you come out and see ours"?

Kiwi

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2240 on: October 02, 2018, 02:09 AM »
 A polar bear walks into a bar:-

"Can I have a pint of lager please.................................
............................................................ ........................
............................................................ .......................
............................................................ .......................
And a packet of cheese and onion crips?"


"Certainly sir" replied the barman, "but can I ask what's with the big pause"


"I'm a polar bear, they're for catching fish"
I'm convinced 90% of the software on my computer doesn't do anything except send me notifications that there's a new version of itself.

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2241 on: October 02, 2018, 09:17 PM »
two  beggars sat on a corner in Rome 1 holding a cross and the other holding the star of  David the people was ignoring the one with the star of David but putting money in the one holding the cross after a while the pope saw this  and went over to the man holding the star of David and  said my dear fellow this is catholic country you cant expect to get money holding the star of David when you are sitting next to a man holding the cross as a matter of  fact  they will put more in his hat  out of  spite  the beggar  smiled turned to the other beggar  and said MOISHE  would you look who is telling  the Goldstien brothers about marketing

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2242 on: October 03, 2018, 06:52 PM »
if you have a grief nobody  feels  if you have a pain  nobody  feels if you heart is broken  nobody feels  but if you fart all will understand

KENNETHO

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2243 on: October 08, 2018, 02:22 AM »
a man found a suitcase in a forest when he opened  it there was some little cubs in it so he called animal  control and reported what he found the lady asked are they moving ? he replied "i don"t  know but that would explain  the suitcase"

Kiwi

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2244 on: October 08, 2018, 03:38 AM »
Geoffrey Hayes from Rainbow has died.

"I don't even remember him being in the band, " said Ritchie Blackmore.


You have to have a certain musical taste to get that one  ;)
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Kiwi

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2245 on: October 08, 2018, 03:39 AM »
Thank you thank you... My next song is called Subtraction. Take it away...
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Kiwi

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2246 on: October 08, 2018, 03:48 AM »
I am shocked about the local bridge being damaged. Canít get over it.
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Kiwi

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2247 on: October 08, 2018, 03:48 AM »
Love watching rivers running under bridges on the internet. Was watching a live stream earlier.
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Kiwi

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2248 on: October 08, 2018, 03:49 AM »
How do you get two whales in a car? Down the M4 then over the Severn Bridge.
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Kiwi

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Re: Lets start with a smile
« Reply #2249 on: October 08, 2018, 03:49 AM »
A friend wants to cure his fear of trolls, but not quite yet. Heíll cross that bridge when he comes to it.
I'm convinced 90% of the software on my computer doesn't do anything except send me notifications that there's a new version of itself.