Recent Posts

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91
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by Kiwi on April 02, 2019, 12:02 AM »
I asked the librarian if she had any books on paranoia.

She leaned over and whispered......."They are right behind you".
92
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by Kiwi on April 01, 2019, 11:59 PM »
A water flooded boggy marshy meadow was being drained prior to a new housing estate being built, a large pump was fired up, and the water slowly drained away. A local nature conservation group turned up and told the builders" You have to stop pumping, there are rare species of amphibians and wild life living there, Turn off the pump, its draining rats and frogs".
93
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by Kiwi on April 01, 2019, 11:58 PM »
A Kiwi and an Aussie went fishing one afternoon and decided to have a couple of cold beers. After a while the Aussie says to the Kiwi, "If I was to sneak over to your house and made wild passionate love to your wife while you were at work, and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us related?" The Kiwi after a great deal of thought, says, "Well, I don't know about related, but it sure would make us even."
94
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by Kiwi on April 01, 2019, 11:57 PM »
I've got to go to a dyslexia support meeting.

Bugger that for a game of shoulders.
95
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by Kiwi on April 01, 2019, 11:57 PM »
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was drawn to another man kneeling at a grave.

The man was praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"

The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to intrude on your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A brother? your father?"

The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, "My wife's first husband."
96
Talking about Ashton / Re: Tameside One finished video
« Last post by Kiwi on April 01, 2019, 12:09 AM »
Great video, a minor improvement over the last ivory tower but still a very boring building.
97
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by KENNETHO on March 31, 2019, 07:01 PM »
there was once a young lady  from bass  who had a magnificent  ass, not rosy and pink as you may all think but was gray with long ears and ate  grass,...
98
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by KENNETHO on March 31, 2019, 03:35 AM »
 a farmer has successfully grown  dildos in his field  but now he has trouble  with  squatters ...
99
Talking about Ashton / Tameside One finished video
« Last post by Vanessa on March 29, 2019, 07:22 PM »
The new building is now finished and called Tameside One, the library, college and job centre have moved in, just the rest of the council offices and lastly Wilkinsons to make the move then they can finish the Civic Square in front of the town hall. By the way, the new library has been a huge success.

https://youtu.be/Zv0aBn0XCdw
100
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by KENNETHO on March 28, 2019, 03:54 AM »
a man goes to the doctors with a mystery  ailment  the doctor  asks  "do you drink to  access?" the man replied "i drink to anything"
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