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91
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by Kiwi on January 17, 2018, 12:53 AM »
Three strangers strike up a conversation in the passenger lounge in Bozeman , Montana , while waiting for their respective flights…

One an American Indian passing through from Lame Deer, another a Cowboy on his way to Billings for a livestock show and the third passenger is a fundamentalist Arab student, newly arrived at Montana State University from the Middle East …
Their discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon, the two Westerners learn that the Arab is a devout, radical Muslim and the conversation falls into an uneasy lull.

The cowboy leans back in his chair, crosses his boots on a magazine table, tips his big sweat-stained hat forward over his face, and lights a cigarette. The wind outside is blowing tumbleweeds around, and the old windsock is flapping; but still no plane comes.

Finally, the American Indian clears his throat and softly he speaks, ‘At one time here… my people were many…. but sadly, now we are few.’

The Muslim student raises an eyebrow and leans forward,
‘Once my people were few,’ he sneers, ‘and now we are many. Why do you suppose that is?’

The cowboy removes his cigarette from his mouth and from the darkness beneath his Stetson says in a smooth drawl . . …

‘I reckon that’s ’cause we ain’t played Cowboys and Muslims yet,
But I do believe it’s a-comin’.’
92
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by KENNETHO on January 16, 2018, 11:51 PM »
found  a nice suitbut it was 99pound  97much more than i exsperted.............  so much for the 3p  suit
93
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by KENNETHO on January 16, 2018, 09:50 PM »
2 guys in  manchester decided to get  married  so they found a preacher  who would  marry them although he had never  done  a gay  marriage before  so everything went  fine but he didnt  know how  to  end the ceremony so he said i now  pronounce  you.....man. united
94
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by KENNETHO on January 16, 2018, 03:04 AM »
a man just downed his drink at the bar  the bartender  said  i see your  glass is  empty  would you like  another  one?? why  the hell would i  want  another  empty  glass  he  replied???
95
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by Kiwi on January 15, 2018, 11:47 PM »
A little paper bag was feeling unwell, so he took himself off to the doctor.
“Doctor, I don’t feel too good,” said the little paper bag.
“Hmm, you look OK to me,” said the Doctor, “But I‘ll do a blood test and see what that shows. Come back and see me in a couple of days.”
The little paper bag felt no better when he got back for the results.
“What’s wrong with me ?” asked the little paper bag.
“I‘m afraid you are HIV positive!” said the doctor.
“No, I can’t be – I’m just a little paper bag !” Said the little paper bag.
“Have you been having unprotected sex ?”asked the doctor.
“NO - I can’t do things like that – I’m just a little paper bag !”
“Well have you been sharing needles with other intravenous drug users ?” asked the doctor.
“NO - I can’t do things like that – I’m just a little paper bag !”
“Perhaps you’ve been abroad recently and required a jab or a blood transfusion ?” queried the doctor.
“NO, I don’t have a passport – I’m just a little paper bag !”
“Well”, said the doctor, “Are you in a Sexual Relationship ?”
“NO ! - I can’t do things like that – I’m just a little paper bag!”
“Then there can be only one explanation.” said the doctor...
This is good - wait for it .... ... .... ..... ...
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“Your mother must have been a carrier!”
96
Talking about Ashton / Re: New building in photos
« Last post by jaywit on January 15, 2018, 04:03 PM »
 Posts: 964
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Re: New building names
« Reply #4 on: September 11, 2017, 02:57 PM »

http://www.torontosun.com/2015/10/06/carillion-canada-fined-900k-for-not-properly-clearing-qew

 I'm hoping that the building gets completed on time and budget.
Carrillion haven't got the best track record.

https://www.zerohedge.com/news/2018-01-15/uk-construction-giant-43000-employees-collapses

I think I lost my way by my choice of occupation.(French Polisher)
I should have been playing the market(Financial not Ashton)
The Army may have been smarter than I thought when I was called up.

Hummm! French Polisher = RAPC.(Royal Army Pay Corps)
Ladysmith Barracks Officers Accounts Ashton??

After basic and tech training I opted for overseas postings,names were put in a beret,I missed out on Aden!! Singapore! Ended up HQLF Hong Kong.
realrocky!!!Chinese talk ,real lucky)
97
Talking about Ashton / Re: New building in photos
« Last post by Fudge on January 15, 2018, 12:16 PM »
Should go back to own area's to run Fudge
98
Talking about Ashton / Re: New building in photos
« Last post by greeny on January 14, 2018, 04:07 PM »
Hi Albert  I heard that how many half built building will there be if it goes bust will the government get them out .or will new charter step in lol  :)
99
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by KENNETHO on January 13, 2018, 06:23 PM »
a  woman  from  newyork  was  driving  through a  remote  part of  arizona when  her  car  broke down an american  indian rode up on his  horse  and offered a ride to the small town where there was  a garage so she got on his horse and they rode off  every now and then the indian would let out a loud yell  he heheee  ha ha haaaa that it echoed around  the hills when they reached  the garage the indian let out one more  yell  he heheeeee  ha ha haaa dropped the woman off  and rode away the man at the  garage  said to the  woman  what did you do to make that indian so  excited she replied i just thanked him got on his horse put my arms around his waist and held on to the saddle horn  so i wouldnt  fall off lady  said the  man  indians  dont  use  saddles..
100
Talking about Ashton / Re: New building in photos
« Last post by Albert on January 13, 2018, 11:05 AM »
On the radio that the builders are going broke  over 1.5 Billion in debt
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