Recent Posts

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21
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by Kiwi on April 01, 2019, 11:57 PM »
I've got to go to a dyslexia support meeting.

Bugger that for a game of shoulders.
22
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by Kiwi on April 01, 2019, 11:57 PM »
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was drawn to another man kneeling at a grave.

The man was praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"

The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to intrude on your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A brother? your father?"

The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, "My wife's first husband."
23
Talking about Ashton / Re: Tameside One finished video
« Last post by Kiwi on April 01, 2019, 12:09 AM »
Great video, a minor improvement over the last ivory tower but still a very boring building.
24
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by KENNETHO on March 31, 2019, 07:01 PM »
there was once a young lady  from bass  who had a magnificent  ass, not rosy and pink as you may all think but was gray with long ears and ate  grass,...
25
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by KENNETHO on March 31, 2019, 03:35 AM »
 a farmer has successfully grown  dildos in his field  but now he has trouble  with  squatters ...
26
Talking about Ashton / Tameside One finished video
« Last post by Vanessa on March 29, 2019, 07:22 PM »
The new building is now finished and called Tameside One, the library, college and job centre have moved in, just the rest of the council offices and lastly Wilkinsons to make the move then they can finish the Civic Square in front of the town hall. By the way, the new library has been a huge success.

https://youtu.be/Zv0aBn0XCdw
27
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by KENNETHO on March 28, 2019, 03:54 AM »
a man goes to the doctors with a mystery  ailment  the doctor  asks  "do you drink to  access?" the man replied "i drink to anything"
28
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by KENNETHO on March 26, 2019, 03:06 PM »
queue sounds like q followed by 4 silent  letters but...........they are just  waiting  their  turn...
29
General Discussion / Re: Manchester United F.C.
« Last post by Kiwi on March 26, 2019, 01:40 AM »
Last Thursday, a man was arrested for throwing rubbish onto a park in Kazakhstan. A police spokesman said a Mr A McLeish has been bailed to appear in court next week.
30
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by Kiwi on March 26, 2019, 01:35 AM »
At one point during a school football match, the sports master called one of his 7-year-old players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

"Do you understand that what matters is not whether we win or lose, but how we play together as a team?" The little boy nodded yes.

"So," he continued, "I'm sure you know, when a penalty is called, you shouldn't argue, swear at and attack the referee, or call him rude names. Do you understand all that?" Again the little boy nodded.
He continued, "And when I call you off the pitch so that another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your sports master a stupid a*sehole', is it?"
Again the little boy nodded.

"Good," said the sports master. "Now go over there and explain all that to your mother."
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