Recent Posts

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21
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by Kiwi on February 11, 2019, 02:54 AM »

My mate told me to meet him at half six so I turned up at three.
22
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by Kiwi on February 11, 2019, 02:53 AM »
I love jokes about eyes. The cornea the better.
23
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by Kiwi on February 11, 2019, 02:53 AM »
I was walking the dogs the other day when all of a sudden they vanished into thin air. Not sure where they went but I've got some leads.

24
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by Kiwi on February 11, 2019, 02:53 AM »
It's the Schizophrenia Society Annual Ball tonight. I'm in two minds whether to go or not.

25
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by Kiwi on February 11, 2019, 02:52 AM »

The police stopped me and asked me where I was between 5 and 11. I said "Primary School".

26
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by Kiwi on February 11, 2019, 02:52 AM »

I saw two people in Tesco wrapped together in a giant barcode. I thought "They must be an item".
27
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by Kiwi on February 11, 2019, 02:52 AM »
I've put a marquee up in my garden, with funky music and flashing lights. Now is the winter of my disco-tent.
28
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by Kiwi on February 11, 2019, 02:51 AM »

This is a great time to buy a thermometer. They're much lower at this time of year.

29
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by Kiwi on February 11, 2019, 02:51 AM »
I was dating a woman who worked at a camping shop. We split up as the relationship was too intents.
30
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by Kiwi on February 11, 2019, 02:50 AM »

Me: "Is this fly spray any good for wasps?" Sales assistant: "Not really. It kills them."

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