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Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by Kiwi on Today at 04:18 AM »
Oxford University researchers have discovered the densest element yet known to science.
The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years.
It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass.
When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons.
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Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by Kiwi on Today at 04:15 AM »
1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like......night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
6. Depression is like anger without enthusiasm.
7. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
8. Support Bacteria..........they're the only culture some people have!
9. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
10. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
11. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
12. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? OK, then raise my hand.
13. OK - so what's the speed of dark?
14. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
15. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
16. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
17. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
18. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
19. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
20. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
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Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by Kiwi on Today at 12:40 AM »
My wife loves all the lady Hollywood film stars of the 40's, Hedy Lamar, Marylyn Monroe, and especially Greta Garbo, just lately she's started eating grass seed, and when questioned about it all she says is " I vont to be A Lawn"
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Talking about Ashton / Re: Market webcam back
« Last post by Fudge on April 15, 2019, 02:26 PM »
Weather as been a lot better this winter we are having a lot of sun but there is still a nip in the air Fudge
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Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by KENNETHO on April 15, 2019, 04:51 AM »
after months of trying a mans wife got pregnant so off they went to the docs  for a check up the husband said "how will i know if i am the father"? the doc replied we can do a d n a test then the wife said "how will i know if i am the mother? for that we need an I Q test.
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Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by KENNETHO on April 12, 2019, 04:16 AM »
its been reported that Lorena  Bobbitt   was in a car crash a witness said some  dick cut her off
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Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by KENNETHO on April 09, 2019, 06:20 PM »
 a man went  to see a medium.. but when he saw her he figured ,, shes  more of a large
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Talking about Ashton / Re: Tameside One finished video
« Last post by Fudge on April 09, 2019, 11:41 AM »
Thanks again Vanessa for the update I have seen it but not been in it as I can't walk far now Fudge
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Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« Last post by KENNETHO on April 08, 2019, 03:28 PM »
a beautiful young woman sat next to a young man on a plane and  said excuse me could you help me take something of my breast please?" a little shocked the man said "of course  what is it"?she replied "your eyes idiot"
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