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Messages - Kiwi

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31
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 01, 2019, 03:08 AM »


32
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 01, 2019, 03:05 AM »

33
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 01, 2019, 03:04 AM »


34
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 01, 2019, 03:04 AM »


35
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 01, 2019, 03:03 AM »




36
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 01, 2019, 03:01 AM »

37
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 01, 2019, 03:01 AM »


38
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 01, 2019, 03:00 AM »


39
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 01, 2019, 03:00 AM »



40
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 01, 2019, 03:00 AM »


41
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 01, 2019, 02:52 AM »
Manchester police arrested 100 Liverpool fans with flares last week.


The same ones they were wearing 29 years ago when they last won the title.

42
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: February 20, 2019, 02:55 AM »
A lady walks into Harrods. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little woops and prays that a sales person was not anywhere near.
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of a salesman standing right behind her - Good looking as well, cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Harrods.

He politely greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?

Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little 'incident', she asks, 'what is the price of this lovely bracelet?'

He answers, "Madam - if you farted just looking at it - you're going to s**t yourself when I tell you the price!"

43
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: February 18, 2019, 12:32 AM »
Excuse my rant but I'm absolutely fuming......
My son got sent home from school yesterday.
He has been suspended for running around the girls toilets waving his willy around.
Idiotic yes but it seems he had done it for a bet.
Suspension seemed to be a bit harsh, so I rang the headmaster to explain that it was just a bit of tomfoolery gone too far.
However, he was having none of it and has stuck by the suspension.
Getting a bit peeved, I asked the head if he would rather have him thieving and smashing the school up like others I could mention.
"No", he said, "I would rather have him teaching the year 5 Geography class that he is employed to do"...........

44
Ask a question.... / Re: Problem with Tameside Image Archive site?
« on: February 18, 2019, 12:29 AM »
Strange thing is that I rarely clean out the cookie jar but never seem to have problems accessing places  :-\

45
Ask a question.... / Re: Problem with Tameside Image Archive site?
« on: February 15, 2019, 12:23 AM »
Not sure, I don't remember ever clicking an "Accept" button to access the site, have you tried complaining to the council IT people in a harsh font ?.  ;)

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