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Messages - KENNETHO

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31
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 24, 2019, 06:35 PM »
a man was coaching a young ice  hockey  team  when he called over a 7 year old player and said to him "do you understand what cooperation and team is win lose or draw its how we play that"s important yes  he nodded, and when a penalty is called you don"t argue curse and call the referee a pecker head do you understand  all that" "yes" said the boy. good  continued  the coach and when i call you off the ice so another boy gets a chance  to play you don"t call your coach a dumb asshole.. yes said the boy  good  replied the coach " now go over there and explain all that to your  mother"

32
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 23, 2019, 06:37 PM »
movie  ratings  explained  G  nobody  gets the girl. PG the good guy gets the girl.. R the bad guy gets the girl.. X  everybody  gets  the girl...

33
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 22, 2019, 10:09 PM »
a man bought a pencil that was used by  Shakespeare but it was all chewed up so he didn"t know if it was 2b or not 2b

34
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 22, 2019, 07:44 PM »
i saw a police  officer  on t v  he said "we will never  forget  911" i thought you better not  its your bloody phone  number"

35
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 21, 2019, 04:00 PM »
do  you have any experience  in child  care?  "yes  i just quit my  job at the white house"

36
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 21, 2019, 03:11 PM »
just  been on www.bigbustycoons.com..................damn those guys have some big bus companies..

37
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 20, 2019, 05:12 AM »
an old lady went to her lawyer to draw up her will after it was done she paid him the $100 with a crisp new bill, when she was leaving the lawyer noticed another $100 stuck to it, and he was stuck with a moral dilemma, should he tell his partner..

38
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 19, 2019, 12:08 AM »
news  flash>>>> police  are investigating a wooden thing with a pointed end  spinning on the street...... that"s  our  top  story,...

39
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 14, 2019, 04:50 AM »
don"t  steal,  don"t  lie and don"t  cheat.... the government  hates  competition

40
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 13, 2019, 11:35 PM »
a man said  the worst pub i"have    ever been to  was called  THE FIDDLE..it realy  was a vile  inn...

41
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 13, 2019, 04:37 AM »
a man gets home  from the  pub, his wife said  "your  drunk" no i"m not he replied "oh yes  you are"she yelled " i tell you i am not drunk" he answered can you tell the time" she asked "sure" he said and walked up  to the clock and says  "i  am  not  drunk"...

42
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 11, 2019, 06:49 PM »
there was an old man named  Keith, who mislaid his set of false  teeth they were  laid  on a chair he forgot  they were there, sat down and got bitten  beneath...

43
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 11, 2019, 02:56 AM »
the weakest point on any  car  is the nut behind the steering  wheel....

44
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 10, 2019, 05:09 PM »
yeah  we sometimes  find one that hits the spot cheers

45
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 10, 2019, 12:33 AM »
 a mechanic  just finished a tough job for a customer, who was a surgeon so the mechanic said to him how  come i bust my gut all day taking cars  apart and putting them back together and only make a fraction that you make after all you take people apart and put them together so  what  gives the doctor pauses for a moment and politely replied  " i can see your  point there  but  try doing all that  with the engine  running"

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