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Messages - KENNETHO

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1
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: Today at 05:12 AM »
an old lady went to her lawyer to draw up her will after it was done she paid him the $100 with a crisp new bill, when she was leaving the lawyer noticed another $100 stuck to it, and he was stuck with a moral dilemma, should he tell his partner..

2
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 19, 2019, 12:08 AM »
news  flash>>>> police  are investigating a wooden thing with a pointed end  spinning on the street...... that"s  our  top  story,...

3
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 14, 2019, 04:50 AM »
don"t  steal,  don"t  lie and don"t  cheat.... the government  hates  competition

4
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 13, 2019, 11:35 PM »
a man said  the worst pub i"have    ever been to  was called  THE FIDDLE..it realy  was a vile  inn...

5
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 13, 2019, 04:37 AM »
a man gets home  from the  pub, his wife said  "your  drunk" no i"m not he replied "oh yes  you are"she yelled " i tell you i am not drunk" he answered can you tell the time" she asked "sure" he said and walked up  to the clock and says  "i  am  not  drunk"...

6
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 11, 2019, 06:49 PM »
there was an old man named  Keith, who mislaid his set of false  teeth they were  laid  on a chair he forgot  they were there, sat down and got bitten  beneath...

7
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 11, 2019, 02:56 AM »
the weakest point on any  car  is the nut behind the steering  wheel....

8
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 10, 2019, 05:09 PM »
yeah  we sometimes  find one that hits the spot cheers

9
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 10, 2019, 12:33 AM »
 a mechanic  just finished a tough job for a customer, who was a surgeon so the mechanic said to him how  come i bust my gut all day taking cars  apart and putting them back together and only make a fraction that you make after all you take people apart and put them together so  what  gives the doctor pauses for a moment and politely replied  " i can see your  point there  but  try doing all that  with the engine  running"

10
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 08, 2019, 02:02 AM »
a man went home and told his wife " i just bought these Olympic condoms "whats so special about those do we only use them every 4 years"? she said  "oh no there are 3 co-lours gold  silver  and  bronze " "and what colour are you wearing tonight ?" she said  he replied "gold of course" she replied " why don"t you wear silver it would be nice if you came second for a change"

11
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 07, 2019, 06:49 PM »
did i read  that sign correctly??? office  building....toilet  out of order  please use floor  below...laundromat washing  machines........ please  remove  all your  clothes  when light  goes  out

12
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 06, 2019, 12:52 AM »
 a blonde was touring a farm she said to the farmer  why doesn't that cow over there have  horns the farmer  replied  there are many  reasons  some cows don"t have horns  some  are  bred to be  hornless some cows they come on later some times the horns are taken off and on some cows they fall off but that particular  cow doesn't  have  horns because  its a bloody  horse

13
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 05, 2019, 07:04 PM »
a mans  wife  asked  him to go  out and get  something  for  the pancakes... she wasn"t too impressed when he came back with  a bra..

14
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 05, 2019, 12:58 AM »
was yesterday parade  day???..............march  fourth

15
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: March 02, 2019, 08:23 PM »
they  say  "a dog  is a mans  best  friend" but i don"t have enemies that would  stare in my eyes  whilst  taking  a shit on my  carpet

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