Messages

1

Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile

« on: October 15, 2018, 11:33 PM »

a tired old dog walked into a mans yard when the man looked at  it he saw it was well fed clean and had a collar on so he thought it must belong to some one the man went in the house to get the dog some water as he opened the door the dog followed him saw the sofa and lay  on it when the man got the water the dog was fast asleep so he left it after a short while the dog woke up went to the door  and the man let it out and off it went but the next day it came again did the same thing had a nap and left the man thought that"s strange but the next day when it was ready to leave the man pinned a note on its  collar your dog has been sleeping at my house for the last few days. it came again the next day with a note on his collar  "he lives with 4 young children i guess he is catching up on some sleep can i come with him tomorrow??

2

Talking about Ashton / Re: Market webcam back

« on: October 15, 2018, 02:56 PM »

maybe  we can blame the government  then ..

3

Talking about Ashton / Re: Market webcam back

« on: October 13, 2018, 11:35 PM »

i see Florida got a pounding and wales a a terrible flooding mother nature is getting angry  that"s one thing we cant  blame the government  for 

4

Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile

« on: October 13, 2018, 03:31 PM »

men with erectile dysfunction  have  now  got a union.. they  haven"t had  a raise  for  years ..

5

Round and About / Re: Memories of living in a Prefab

« on: October 13, 2018, 01:07 AM »

nice to see  you back  on the forum  Danny cheers Kenneth O

6

Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile

« on: October 12, 2018, 04:13 AM »

whats  the difference  between hearing and  seeing  a joke?? ....one  involves  a mirror

7

Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile

« on: October 10, 2018, 11:41 PM »

interviewer  " what is your greatest strength "  man " i am very determined " interviewer " that"s  the number one strength for our company we will get back  to you when we make our decision " man " great i will just wait here then"

8

Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile

« on: October 09, 2018, 02:46 AM »

you tube  twitter and face book are going to merger it will now  be called you twit face

9

Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile

« on: October 08, 2018, 02:22 AM »

a man found a suitcase in a forest when he opened  it there was some little cubs in it so he called animal  control and reported what he found the lady asked are they moving ? he replied "i don"t  know but that would explain  the suitcase"

10

General Discussion / Re: Manchester United F.C.

« on: October 08, 2018, 02:04 AM »

yes  it was a stupid move  to start with and it will cost a lot to fire him. but if they sell  Pogba that would help. and that was a big  mistake getting him back.that must of made sir  Alex   blood  boil..

11

General Discussion / Re: RADIO or TV

« on: October 04, 2018, 02:32 PM »

there was a radio program  before the war but i cant recall the name it was a watchman sitting beside a fire  outside telling stories  can anyone  remember that  was he called  sid???

12

Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile

« on: October 03, 2018, 06:52 PM »

if you have a grief nobody  feels  if you have a pain  nobody  feels if you heart is broken  nobody feels  but if you fart all will understand

13

Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile

« on: October 02, 2018, 09:17 PM »

two  beggars sat on a corner in Rome 1 holding a cross and the other holding the star of  David the people was ignoring the one with the star of David but putting money in the one holding the cross after a while the pope saw this  and went over to the man holding the star of David and  said my dear fellow this is catholic country you cant expect to get money holding the star of David when you are sitting next to a man holding the cross as a matter of  fact  they will put more in his hat  out of  spite  the beggar  smiled turned to the other beggar  and said MOISHE  would you look who is telling  the Goldstien brothers about marketing

14

Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile

« on: September 29, 2018, 09:17 PM »

after the plane took off the captain got on the  mike and said " thank you for flying with us the weather is   oh  my god its burning its burning" after a pause he then said "i am so sorry for that but i spilled some hot coffee on my lap you should see my pants" a voice from the back  shouted " why don"t you come out and see ours"?

15

General Discussion / Re: Manchester United F.C.

« on: September 29, 2018, 02:53 PM »

what a load of rubbish today  close  the  door  on your  way  out  Jose..