Messages

1

Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile

« on: April 15, 2019, 04:51 AM »

after months of trying a mans wife got pregnant so off they went to the docs  for a check up the husband said "how will i know if i am the father"? the doc replied we can do a d n a test then the wife said "how will i know if i am the mother? for that we need an I Q test.

2

Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile

« on: April 12, 2019, 04:16 AM »

its been reported that Lorena  Bobbitt   was in a car crash a witness said some  dick cut her off

3

Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile

« on: April 09, 2019, 06:20 PM »

 a man went  to see a medium.. but when he saw her he figured ,, shes  more of a large

4

Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile

« on: April 08, 2019, 03:28 PM »

a beautiful young woman sat next to a young man on a plane and  said excuse me could you help me take something of my breast please?" a little shocked the man said "of course  what is it"?she replied "your eyes idiot"

5

Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile

« on: April 06, 2019, 04:01 PM »

a man said after my years of working in the gym as a personal  trainer i found i wasn"t strong  enough and quit i handed in my too  weak  notice

6

Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile

« on: April 05, 2019, 08:09 PM »

a man said he comes from a family of failed  magicians..  he has  two half  sisters

7

Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile

« on: April 04, 2019, 03:41 AM »

a man wanted to get more exercise so he was looking for a tennis  club but everyone told him it was a racket

8

Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile

« on: April 03, 2019, 08:06 PM »

 i lost my controller  somewhere.... it must be in a remote  location

9

Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile

« on: March 31, 2019, 07:01 PM »

there was once a young lady  from bass  who had a magnificent  ass, not rosy and pink as you may all think but was gray with long ears and ate  grass,...

10

Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile

« on: March 31, 2019, 03:35 AM »

 a farmer has successfully grown  dildos in his field  but now he has trouble  with  squatters ...

11

Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile

« on: March 28, 2019, 03:54 AM »

a man goes to the doctors with a mystery  ailment  the doctor  asks  "do you drink to  access?" the man replied "i drink to anything"

12

Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile

« on: March 26, 2019, 03:06 PM »

queue sounds like q followed by 4 silent  letters but...........they are just  waiting  their  turn...

13

Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile

« on: March 25, 2019, 05:57 PM »

a man took his wife  Mary out for dinner he had filet mignon and Mary had a little  lamb

14

Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile

« on: March 24, 2019, 06:35 PM »

a man was coaching a young ice  hockey  team  when he called over a 7 year old player and said to him "do you understand what cooperation and team is win lose or draw its how we play that"s important yes  he nodded, and when a penalty is called you don"t argue curse and call the referee a pecker head do you understand  all that" "yes" said the boy. good  continued  the coach and when i call you off the ice so another boy gets a chance  to play you don"t call your coach a dumb asshole.. yes said the boy  good  replied the coach " now go over there and explain all that to your  mother"

15

Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile

« on: March 23, 2019, 06:37 PM »

movie  ratings  explained  G  nobody  gets the girl. PG the good guy gets the girl.. R the bad guy gets the girl.. X  everybody  gets  the girl...