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Messages - KENNETHO

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1
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: November 18, 2018, 01:48 AM »
a man out with a lady  on the first  date was  asked what work he  did   he said " oh i am a butcher" " have you no heart"  she replied he looked at her  and said " are you criticizing me  or placing an order?"

2
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: November 16, 2018, 10:58 PM »
carpenter  wanted  cabinet  falling  apart ....         address    10 downing  st.

3
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: November 15, 2018, 04:45 AM »
some people  think Trump isn"t  doing much about  creating  jobs..  who do you think is giving all the lawyers  work?

4
General Discussion / Re: Manchester United F.C.
« on: November 12, 2018, 02:32 AM »
we are on a roll downwards  i think .. we are just  not  good  enough...

5
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: November 12, 2018, 12:07 AM »
waiter. " your glass is  empty sir  would you like  another one"??  man  " why would  i want  two  empty  glasses"?

6
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: November 10, 2018, 02:58 AM »
a man wanted to get a hearing aid but told the clerk he wanted the cheapest there was. so the clerk said i have just the thing this one is only two dollars . so he put the string round the mans neck  and told him to put the little button in his ear and the other end of the string in his  pocket . " how does it work"? asked the man " it doesn't replied the clerk but when people see this they will talk louder."

7
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: November 08, 2018, 03:57 AM »
the  secret  service  is the worst  agency in the USA..................everybody"s  heard  of  it..

8
General Discussion / Re: Manchester United F.C.
« on: November 08, 2018, 02:55 AM »
well we got another win are we on a roll ???

9
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: November 07, 2018, 07:13 PM »
 a blind  man and his dog stood on a corner waiting for the traffic to pas while they are waiting the dog pissed on the mans  leg and right away the man put his hand in his pocket got a biscuit  and waved it near the dog a lady said "why are you treating your dog after what he just?" did the man replied " i am just trying to find his head so i can kick  his ass"

10
General Discussion / Re: Manchester United F.C.
« on: November 06, 2018, 11:47 PM »
it  would be nice for a win its  time they put together a winning  run to remember  on SUNDAY.. CHEERS go  united..

11
Talking about Ashton / Re: Market webcam back
« on: November 06, 2018, 02:12 AM »
how  did the weather hold out for the fireworks  today or did the cat pee on the matches??  cheers

12
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: November 05, 2018, 10:11 PM »
the phone  rings  a lady picks it up there"s  a pervert on the other end  breathing  heavily  and says " i bet you have a tight ass with no hair" she says " why yes i do  he is in the living room watching t v do you want me to pass the phone  to  him?"

13
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: November 05, 2018, 02:54 AM »
a farmer was helping  one of his cows  giving  birth and his 6 year old son sat watching on a fence. the farmer thought i will have to tell him about the birds and the bees one day  but i will let him watch and see if he has any  questions  and i will answer them so after the event  was over he went to his son and said "well do you have any questions ?"  " just one said the wide  eyed  boy how  fast  was that  calf  going  when he  hit  that  cow"?

14
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: November 04, 2018, 01:02 AM »
a man sat next to a girl at the bar  he said" that"s a nice pair of jeans you are wearing i would like to get in them" she said "there"s  no need  for  that there"s  already  an asshole in them"

15
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: November 03, 2018, 09:13 PM »
a man said his  wife  didn"t speak to him for  3 days last week and he had no clue what he did to cause  it  which is a shame  because he would  like  to do it  again  next week

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