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Messages - KENNETHO

Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 87
1
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: Today at 03:16 AM »
ladies  beware  of  fat  men... they just want  to get in your  pantries

2
Talking about Ashton / Re: Market webcam back
« on: September 17, 2018, 03:09 AM »
is the webcam still working or has it been blown away???

3
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: September 16, 2018, 06:00 PM »
a mans wife said " she just wanted one child of each gender"the husband replied "why not just  one boy and one girl?" i don"t want to contribute  to over population"

4
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: September 15, 2018, 04:12 AM »
i can always tell if a person is lying by looking at them.. i can always tell if they are standing too..

5
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: September 14, 2018, 10:59 PM »
a man said how he loves to pamper his wife when she"s had a stressful day  at work  when she phones to say i"m on my way home. i run the hot water put a little soap in and mix up all the bubbles  just perfectly  so when she comes through the door  the dishes are all piled  up ready for her..

6
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: September 12, 2018, 10:09 PM »
a man was feeling  bored so he decided to take up fencing but the people next door said they would call the police  if he didn"t put it back.

7
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: September 12, 2018, 08:44 PM »
a woman as a parrot but every time she takes her date home the parrot always  says "  some one is going to get lucky tonight " this upset her so she asked the vet about  it and he said " it is lonely  and  needs  a mate" so off she went to the petstore to find one all they had was an owl so she bought it hoping it might  work  the next night she took her date home sure  enough the parrot piped  out " some one is going to get lucky  tonight" and the owl said " who  who" " not you you bug  eyed  bitch" said the parrot..

8
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: September 09, 2018, 01:46 AM »
the bank manager noticed the new clerk was not very good at counting money and adding up figures.  " where did you get you financial education "  he asked  " Yale " replied the lad. " and whats your name " barked the manager.   Yim   Yohnson  he replied..

9
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: September 08, 2018, 01:12 AM »
man in pet store "do you have any  kittens  going  cheap "  the owner replied "no sir they all go  meow"

10
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: September 07, 2018, 10:36 PM »
when the store manager came back from lunch hr noticed his clerk had a bandage on his wrist , but before he could ask  about it  his clerk said "guess  what  boss i sold that ugly  suit we had for so long "  the manager said  " you mean  that blue and pink double  breasted thing i thought we would never get rid of that monstrosity"  " yeah  that one "   " well now what about  your hand" "well"said the clerk " after i sold the man the suit his seeing  eye  dog  bit  me".

11
General Discussion / Re: Two more Stars died today.
« on: September 06, 2018, 08:48 PM »
 Burt  Reynolds   passed away today always liked his  movies.  R.I.P.

12
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: September 05, 2018, 01:46 AM »
paddy  said to  murphy  " my mate fell off his motorbike today" " realy " replied murphy " yeah he has brain damage two broken arms and only  one  eye"  "bloody  hell" said murphy " no wonder he  came off"

13
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: September 02, 2018, 03:53 AM »
poster inside of church................ when you enter this church you may hear the call of god , but its unlikely he will call on your cellphone... thanks for turning  your phones  off .. if you want to talk to god , enter find a quiet place and talk  to him  if you want  to see him,, text  him while  driving...

14
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: August 30, 2018, 07:47 PM »
a city  in Yorkshire has  gone  missing .. police say "they have  no Leeds..

15
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: August 30, 2018, 03:35 PM »
a young  boy called emergency . "what is  your emergency"?  "my parents  are fighting and i am  scared" " who is your father"? " well that"s what they are fighting  about"

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