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Messages - KENNETHO

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1
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: February 18, 2019, 08:24 PM »
 a 75 year old man played golf almost every day since he retired 10 years ago then one day he got home quite upset and said to his wife that"s it no more golf for me the wife feeling a little sorry for him said why whats wrong dear  well its my eyes i cant see where the ball lands. oh don"t get upset  take my brother with you but hes 85 he replied yes but his eyesight is very good.. so the next day he took the brother in law along he hits the ball from the first  tee with a mighty swing as he is trying to watch the ball he asked the brother in law  can you see the ball? of course he said my eyes are good then where did it land?  " i forget" he replied                   

2
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: February 18, 2019, 05:23 AM »
a man  told  his wife  she should start to enjoy the little things  in life  she  replied"honey i"m  not in the mood right  now  for  sex"

3
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: February 15, 2019, 09:46 PM »
2  blondes  one  said  "my boyfriend is a veterinarian" " oh was he in the war" asked  her friend " no you dumbo he doesn't eat  meat " she replied

4
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: February 14, 2019, 09:04 PM »
the  most important  thing  in a relationship  is  trust  because if you don"t  realy  trust  her how do you know she  aint  gonna  tell your  wife.

5
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: February 14, 2019, 04:26 PM »
 a man gets a call from the school and told him "your son has been telling lies  " the man replied " well tell him he is bloody  good because i dont have any  kids"

6
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: February 08, 2019, 01:05 AM »
once  upon a time  a prince asked a beautiful princess  "will you  marry  me" the princess said  "no"  so the prince lived happy ever after riding  motorcycles fishing hunting drinking beer and whiskey had lots of money  in the bank, left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted......THE END

7
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: February 07, 2019, 03:28 PM »
a man  phones his boss and says i cant come in today i have  a wee  cough you have a wee cough said the boss thanks see you next week  then  the man replied

8
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: February 06, 2019, 07:10 PM »
 a man who recognizes his mistakes when wrong  is  wise..  a man who recognize his mistake when he is right  is married

9
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: February 04, 2019, 04:24 AM »
 there was this  drunken uni-cyclist he couldn't  handle bars..

10
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: February 04, 2019, 03:52 AM »
if we are not supposed to  eat animals  ...why are they made of  food??

11
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: February 04, 2019, 12:57 AM »
scientists  say the universe is made up of  protons  neutrons  and electrons    they  forgot morons...

12
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: February 02, 2019, 10:18 PM »
a man walks into the kitchen where his wife is breastfeeding their  son "how long do yo have to do that for" he asked " well its a bond between mother and child isn"t  it only society deems it should stop at a certain age" yeah  shut up Joe.. i am talking to your mother 

13
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: February 01, 2019, 10:04 PM »
 a guy said he cant afford a nice large television so he smoked a ton of  weed and read the dictionary............................ high  definition 

14
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: February 01, 2019, 07:15 PM »
a man boards a plane with six  kids after they get seated a lady leans over and asks the man are these all your  children? no mam he replied  i work for a condom  company  these are customers  complaints

15
Smile, please! / Re: Lets start with a smile
« on: February 01, 2019, 06:28 PM »
no  mom stands for  mom  owes  money

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